A few soft words beckon to me and drag me into the wisp of unconsciousness. My eyes fall shut invitingly as I wonder – curiously contemplating my existence and the reason for the call. My body lay still on your grey velvet chesterfield, fingers twitching as they depart the conscious world. My breathes slow to match a quiet, unbothered pace and welcome relaxation.
I see you staring back at me. Were living together. Things seem natural to me and you seem upset. Our close integrity has brought frustration- were fighting. You argue words at me, but my eyebrows just scrunch up as you speak. It aches me to hear your words.
“I am going out!”
I scream it at you loudly as tears trace my eyes. The sound of your voice falls quiet and your hands fall to your sides. I have defeated your anger with a single phrase. You don’t want to be alone. You fear it. As I step back, you step toward me fearfully. My body is trembling – I am ready to bolt. Your body lunges towards me and your hands grasp both my wrists. I can feel you trembling. My eyes apologetically speak to you – I never meant to hurt you. You hold me there as a war rages on inside of you. Emotions – they have never been your strongest suit. You battle them, but this time you know if you stand idly you will lose me.
I feel your grip tighten and I try to speak, but my words weaken. “R-”
Your chest presses into mine along with rest of your body. As I feel my chest racing, my senses are entranced by the closeness of you. I have yearned for this for many years. You pull my arms up against the wall and hold them with one hand.
My mind travels back to a time you got this close to me. “Theres dry skin on your forehead” I cringed as your digit stroked my skin for I had never imagined the first time you came that close would be to lecture me.
Your touch pulls me out of the day dream and your hand roughly grasps my face. Your cheek touches me, scratches me, prickles me…those red tinged fibres are abrasive to my skin.
“Why?….why do you care about me?…”
My ears hear your whispers and my heart skips at the sound of your painful words. Yet, I have no answer for you or a reasoning for what I feel. You pull back to wait for my words. My lips tremble and my eyes fall shut with defeat. Thats it. You are going to leave me.
Suddenly your hand softens on my face and a different feeling overwhelms me. Your lips press against mine hungrily. My body aches as a certain release overcomes me. I have waited for so long. You feed off of me as every touch becomes more natural to you.
Those soft sounds escape you as you press yourself harder against me, trapping me inescapably between you and the wall. Not that I would think of leaving – I have been waiting for years. The touch of your lips is completely a bliss to me.
Just as I start to enjoy it, an alarm goes off and My eyes widen. Beep beep beep..
I reach for you, but you dissipate before my eyes. My hand grasps at the cloud of what once was you. My eyes part and I lay quietly in my bed. It was a dream. Every part of us being together was a dream.